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Akerdiary - Akerz Does Australia

WEEKS LATER - Friday 2nd November (Perth)

After 100 days, I decided to log off for a while. I ended up akernating in Coral Bay for a 10 day stint where I embarked on a mission to add another 100 listings to the Perth Sites directory. I was also there in an effort to lose weight as my recent gluttony had tipped me into the 80s (I'm only a small guy and perform better at 65). I'm now about 73kgs after consuming a bowl of veggies every few hrs for a couple of weeks.

I have declared 'Akerz Does Australia, Part 1' officially over with Part 2 to start again soon this month. It was far too hot in Broome to be thinking about heading further north so I am going to start again from Perth and head around the south end of WA and probably South Australia.

To coincide with the start of Part 2, I've set up a new version of the website at akerz.com which will this time be separate from Perth Sites. There is plenty of video footage to go online (mostly shot by the lovable Uncle Royston) but most of it is really not suitable to sit at PerthSites.com.

Check back soon for 'Akerz Does Australia, Part 2' with more laughs and akerlarity.

Day 100 - Tuesday 16th September (Bush Bay)

No need to go fishing today! The bloke camped nearby offered me a huge mullet. He had caught plenty in his net overnight so was more than happy to share his catch. Why have I been wasting my time with these stupid little whitings!

Day 99 - Monday 15th September (Lyndon River, Carnarvon, Bush Bay)

After stopping at Carnarvon and stocking up on fresh veggies, I made my way down to good ol' Bush Bay where I was quick to throw the line back in. Caught a fish on my second cast so I thought I was in for a big haul but no, only caught one more but it was about the biggest whiting I'd ever seen and it did nicely for dinner.

Day 98 - Sunday 14th September (Yannarie River, Coral Bay, Lyndon River)

Got to Coral Bay before lunch and spent most of the day there. Swimming, snorkeling... sun baking etc.

Day 97 - Saturday 13th September (Sandfire Roadhouse, Yannarie River)

Meh. Today I drove and drove. Have cruised at about 95kms an hour and got nearly 600kms off a tank.

Day 96 - Friday 12th September (Broome)

Woke up without much of a hangover thankfully. Was booked in for a Jet Boat ride at 9am... not the sort of thing you want to do when feeling seedy. I managed to survive without throwing up but did have to spend a while afterwards recovering from motion sickness.

I went and said goodbye to my host for the last couple of days and was outa there. Also bumped into my second cousins and their mum at the shops accidentally, just as I was about to skip town.

Ok, I'm an idiot! A total drongo! You'd think after my Pannawonica experience with petrol, I would have learnt my lesson but nope, I ran out of petrol! As the sun was setting, 14kms from the Sandfire Roadhouse. I had actually stopped at Sandfire to stretch my legs but didn't get petrol... by my calculations, I should have made it to the next Roadhouse (Pardoo) without any problem. I normally get at least 450km off a tank and Pardoo was about 450km so I figured I would be fine, plus and I have the Jerry Can, just in case. Doh! I got 52km south of Sandfire and I ran out. With another 80kms to Pardoo, I figured I better be safe and use the 10 litres in the Jerry Can to turn back to Sandfire and fill up. I didn't even make it back to Sandfire! Arghhh!!! Still 14 kms away. Crap, what do I do?

I decided I'd better start walking... but just as I had locked up and was ready to go, a car came along so I flagged it down, out of desperation. Not that I'm racist (of course) but the beaten up 4wd I flagged down was full of aboriginals. Arghh!! It was a middle aged lady driving with and old guy in the back and a few toddlers floating about. They were kind enough to stop and agree to give me a lift down the road. Not too scary... but wait. The rest of their entourage pulled up behind them in a beaten up commodore. Four young adult male aboriginals... with freaking guns!! Crap, is this how it ends? Have I come to the Akerfinish? The young guys were checking out my van and muttering something in Aboriginal to the driver of the 4wd I had just stepped into.

That was a loooonnnngggg 14kms. For some reason, although the sun was still up, they were driving about 50kms an hour. The car behind with the four boys and the guns had not followed us. Where were they? Surely at 50kms an hour they could keep up. I of course presumed that they were busy looting my van and maybe trying to unbolt the safe etc. I also guessed that we were going 50kms an hour to give the boys enough time to steal everything they could and catch up before we got to Sandfire. Bugger me. I kept thinking to myself, at least I still have my health (for now). Everything else was replaceable, to an extent.

After some awkward chit chat about wild bush turkeys etc, we finally got to Sandfire and I extended my deepest thanks for the lift. After glancing at their number plates, I filled up the Jerry Can and explained my situation to the people there. Nobody was available to drive me back to what was left of the van, so it looks like I was walking. Not too bad I guess, was due for some exercise. Hang on, why am I not wearing shoes? I set off to walk 28kms without any shoes? One of my bloody thongs didn't even last 2kms. Arghh! But that was the least of my worries, the sun had set and since it was a new moon, I soon wouldn't be able to see a thing. But that was the least of my worries. There is snakes everywhere around here... but that was the least of my worries. There was freaking bulls everywhere! I saw plenty driving but obviously they didn't scare me while I was in the confides of the Akervan. So here I was, walking past wild bulls with no weapons other than a Jerry Can and a broken thong. I was eyeballing them thinking at any moment I was about to star as the lead clown in my own rodeo.

What the hell was I doing? I should have waited at the roadhouse until morning or until someone could offer me a lift. I survived about 4kms without any bulls charging. Not much traffic around, only one vehicle had gone my way but they didn't stop. The second vehicle was my saviour, someone at the roadhouse and let him know there was someone walking and needed a lift. Eventually got back to the Van to find it all in once piece. Time to count my lucky stars.

Have driven back to Sandfire with no intention of going anywhere else tonight. Have parked out the back in a powered bay and have had a nice hot shower with a few spiders, crickets and a frog. A few ice cold beers are in order after this evenings experience.

I've now realised that flooring the Akervan at 130kms an hour with flatish tyres probably isn't too good for fuel economy.

Still alive. Carpe Diem Baby.

Day 95 - Thursday 11th September (Broome)

Was booked in for a Jet Boat ride this morning but when I got there, they said it had been cancelled due to rough weather. Huh? What rough weather? Anyway, have re-booked it for tomorrow.

Went to the Oasis bar with Andrea and her friends. Wet t-shirt comp! Nice. I took it easy with the drinks knowing that I was on a boat in the morning.

Day 94 - Wednesday 10th September (Sydney, Broome)

2pm (EST), 12pm (WST) - Am on the plane to Broome updating my blog while a 3yr old girl in front of me just updated her bog... in her pants. At this point, I'm regretting the spray of nasal decongestant that I just sent up my honker. I've endured the massive turbulence out of Sydney without feeling sick but breathing in a whole nappy full of baby shit has made me wanna chuck up a lung.

Later - Have safely arrived in Broome. The Akervan, which was in storage at my niece's house, actually started with only a small coughing fit. I hung out at the beach for most of the arvo before going back to Andrea's house and parking my bed out the front.

Day 94 - Tuesday 9th September (Sydney)

Meh. Have caught up with some 'work' and bummed around Sydney.

Day 93 - Monday 8th September (Bathurst, Sydney)

We did a hot lap around the Bathurst circuit this morning which was open to the public. Rather than the 2 minutes, 8 seconds, it took us probably 20 minutes thanks to traffic. Speaking of traffic, we had plenty of it all the way back to Sydney. The boys are off on the plane back to Perth while I'm stuck in Sydney for a couple of days awaiting a direct flight to Broome on Wednesday. I'm not too fond of Shitney to be honest. Being that I'm not Asian, Gay or a Druggie, I don't feel that I really fit in.

Day 92 - Sunday 7th September (Bathurst)

Meh. Random Grid girls, I definately took more photos of grid girls than cars. Discovered 6x zoom is a wonderfull thing. Everyone of their feet for the start of the 2007 Bathurst 1000 This was our view for most of the day. We could see into the pits, the Start/Finish line, the last corner, the straight and Hell Corner. Not Bad. As the sign says... Ford wins Bathurst. 1st, 2nd & 3rd, who woulda thunk it.

Day 91 - Saturday 6th September (Bathurst)

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